Eva Longoria’s marriage failed on "Desperate Housewives" in part because she was personally tipping the lawn boy. But in real life, Eva is hoping for a better result with her engagement to basketball star Tony Parker.

The 31-year-old actress said "yes" to her longtime beau, 24-year-old French-born Parker, who is point guard for the San Antonio Spurs. The couple met in 2004, briefly split in September, but obviously turned things around after a romantic trip to Paris in October.

Longoria’s representative Liza Anderson confirms, "Eva and Tony are officially engaged. The couple has never been happier. Tony flew into Los Angeles last night after his game and surprised Eva at her home as she got off work". Lucky for Eva she wasn’t tipping the lawn boy at the time!

Anderson continued: "The couple plans to wed in France in the summer of 2007 in what they describe as a big, happy ceremony with lots of family and friends." This will be the first marriage for Parker and the second marriage for Eva, who in 2004 divorced Tyler Christopher from ABC’s "General Hospital" after two years.

When Eva and Tony started dating, Eva publicly stated that she was "the teacher" in the bedroom and that Tony was an excellent student. Well, that’s one class in which I wouldn’t mind getting lots of homework!

Popularity: 54% [?]

Carolyn Kepcher, who helped Donald Trump fire corporate trainees on "The Apprentice" reality TV show, has a new job helping Microsoft find the best small-business idea in America.

Microsoft is launching the "Ultimate Challenge" contest. The winner will receive $100,000 in seed money, a storefront or office in Manhattan rent-free for a year, and of course Microsoft software to get their business running. Kepcher is one of three contest judges who will pick four finalists. The judges and the voting public will then choose the winner. "It takes a big idea to create a big business," Kepcher said. "And I’ve seen some big ideas before."

No doubt, given that Carolyn worked for Trump for over a decade and was his right-hand woman on "The Apprentice" until he fired her in August. "She became a prima donna," said one insider. "Being on ‘The Apprentice’ went to her head. She was no longer focused on business. She was giving speeches for $25,000 and doing endorsements."

So Trump fired Carolyn for shameless self-promotion? Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Even so, Trump is cool. He’s like a modern American cowboy, riding choppers instead of horses and rustling money instead of cattle.

But I’ll miss Carolyn on "The Apprentice". She always had a knack for cutting through the typical corporate BS to focus on the critical issue of every problem. I’ve worked in corporate America, and Carolyn’s honesty and insight is hard to find in an environment dominated by pointy-haired bosses and corporate lemmings. Surely Carolyn will succeed at whatever she decides to do next.

Popularity: 30% [?]

Girls just wanna have fun! (ADULTS ONLY)

First Britney Spears dumps slacker husband Kevin Federline by text message. Next, rumors fly that Kevin is shopping around a 4-hour Britney sex tape from their honeymoon.

Then Kevin states publicly that they are getting divorced because Britney is bisexual and was pressuring him to bring other women into their bedroom. And that’s a bad thing because…? Help me out here, I’m a little blind to the downside.

Britney Spears continued her very public liberation from K-Fed by stepping out with celebrity socialite Paris Hilton, resulting in a number of wild paparrazi photos including upskirts of Britney’s private parts (both with and without panties) and this puzzling photo of Paris giving Britney a titty-twister.

Looks like Britney is making good on her bisexual desires. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, especially when she provides photographic evidence! Apparently Paris is the “top” in this relationship.

But Britney, you’re about to enter a nasty divorce contest against a man who has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Do you really think this is a good game plan? Party in private! Just my two cents…

Popularity: 76% [?]

After four long months of Hollywood marriage, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock each filed divorce papers Monday within minutes of each other citing the standard “irreconcilable differences”.

“Yes, it’s true. Unfortunately impossible,” Anderson wrote in a brief statement on her Web site under the heading “11/27/06 Divorce.”

What’s impossible is that anyone expected this duo to last. Their roller coaster relationship first became public when they were engaged in 2002. They split up the following year, but reunited in 2005 and were married this summer–multiple times. Their first wedding was in late July near St. Tropez, France. They officially tied the knot at the Beverly Hills courthouse on August 3rd. And just to make sure it would last, Pam and Kid held another wedding ceremony in Nashville on August 17.

Anderson confirmed earlier this month on her web site that she had suffered a miscarriage. Would her future with Kid been different if she had his kid?

Popularity: 70% [?]

Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff are together again on the beach, this time to promote the release of DVD box sets for the first two seasons of their former hit TV show “Baywatch“. They were joined by other “Baywatch” stars including Traci Bingham and Donna D’Errico.

“Baywatch” was produced from 1989-2001 and followed a group of sexy California lifeguards at work and play. Never before has slow-motion technology been used to such great effect. Fans of the show may remember the opening credits that included a bevy of buxom bikini babes bouncing in slow motion as they run along the beach. At one point, “Baywatch” aired on every continent except Antarctica, according to the Internet Movie Database.

Anderson splashed into pop culture as tool girl on the hit sitcom “Home Improvement,” followed by many naked appearances in Playboy and an infamous sex tape with former husband Tommy Lee. Anderson joined “Baywatch” in the second season in 1992 and stayed with the show for five years. “Every day was so fun,” Anderson recalled. “It’s the best job in the world, being at the beach every day with my dog and my kids… Nothing has compared to it since.”

Hasselhoff added: “I think the secret of its success was that it was always about saving lives, not taking lives.” Well, that or the buxom bouncing babes.

Popularity: 71% [?]

Marcia Cross‘ trash may be treasure for one lucky garbage man.

Cross, one of the MILF stars of ABC’s “Desperate Housewives“, is trying to recover a collection of personal photos that wound up in the hands of a garbage collector she hired to remove trash from her home. The photos include nude shots of Cross in an outdoor shower.

Lawyers for the 44-year-old actress said that Cross accidentally threw out the snapshots and the photos are the copyrighted property of Cross and her husband.

True, says well-known porn master David Hans Schmidt, who was hired by the garbage collector to sell the photos. But Schmidt hinted the photos could be sold abroad. Scmidt also said that Cross is free to join the bidding for her photos. “I’m not looking to mortify Ms. Cross,” he said. “I just want the most money for my client.”

Schmidt, who also sold celebrity sex tapes of Paris Hilton and Colin Farrell, said Cross looked “absolutely gorgeous” in the photos. He also confirmed that Cross is a true redhead. “Yes, the carpet does match the curtains,” he told the Daily News.

Law of the Universe #69: If you are a celebrity, any nude photos/videos of you will eventually end up on the Internet.

Popularity: 79% [?]

The rumors are flying so fast it’s tough to keep up. First Britney Spears divorces Kevin Federline by text message, seeking custody of their kids. Reportedly Britney is protected by an iron-clad prenup she got at the insistence of her family after her 55-hour impulse marriage to Jason Alexander (her childhood friend, not George on Seinfeld).

Then K-Fed fires back with a counter-claim seeking spousal support and custody of their kids. Which makes sense because we all know what a great father he is, as he demonstrated by leaving his wife and other children (including one about to be born) for Britney in 2004.

Within days of their divorce announcement, rumors of a four-hour Britney/K-Fed sex tape emerge. Reportedly BetUS.com was negotiating with K-Fed to publish the tape, which is apparently more graphic than the infamous Paris Hilton green sex video and is projected to outsell it by far.

You may recall that in 2005 Britney sued “US Weekly” for a story it ran titled “Brit & Kev: Secret Sex Tape? New parents have a new worry: Racy footage from 2004.” Britney then denied existence of the tape and sued the magazine, ultimately losing because of course the tape is real. These are the same two narcissists who broadcast to millions of people a “Chaotic” home video of themselves burping and farting, so it’s no stretch of the imagination to believe they also have video of themselves doing the nasty.

The latest twist in this story is that Britney may simply give away the sex tape for free, just to spite her soon-to-be ex. “Brit figures she’ll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she did by giving away pictures of Jayden James,” said Spears family friend Nyla Price, 55, the owner of Nyla’s Burger Basket. “Half of nuthin’ is nuthin’, and that’s what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it.”

We believe there is a sex tape, and as soon as K-Fed realizes he won’t make a dime off it, he’ll pull the plug so the world won’t have to see his sorry a** on film. But after disappointing sex tapes from Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton, all we can say is “Baby, one more time!”

Popularity: 55% [?]

E! Entertainment Television has ordered a third season of the reality series “The Girls Next Door,” which follows the lives of Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson at the Playboy Mansion, home of their boyfriend Hugh Hefner. The tagline of the show is, “You call it fantasy, they call it home.”

The third season is set for a 2007 spring premiere. The second season audience is up nearly 30% over the first season and attracting more than twice as many viewers as E!’s total-day average. To celebrate the launch of the second season, a nude pictorial of the threesome was published in the September 2006 issue of Playboy magazine. The front and back covers feature a simultaneous photograph of the nude trio from their front and back sides. Too bad Superman never used his powers for that trick.

I saw Hef with his three hotties on “Ellen” the other day while sitting in the dentist chair. My mind kept racing between thoughts of Hef (“Luckiest man alive”) and the threesome (“What are they thinking? That dude is ancient!”) and the dentist (“Why does he have to wear such stinky aftershave?”)

Popularity: 25% [?]

America’s obsession with gay stars has hit a fever pitch lately with the outing of Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser), Lance Bass (N’Sync) and T.R. Knight (Grey’s Anatomy). But the “gaydar” was going full-throttle with recent news of a lesbian relationship between “Terminator 3″ star Kristanna Loken and “Lost” actress Michelle Rodriguez.

Loken was recently interviewed by gay magazine “The Advocate” in which she responded to stories of her and Rodriguez hooking up on the set of the new movie “BloodRayne.” Loken laughed and took a deep breath, saying, “There is the $64,000 question. Um…I don’t even know how to answer that.”

With all the juicy details, that’s how!

When asked if the two had fun “partying together,” Loken replied, “Uh-huh,” with a big smile on her face. When the interviewer responded that Loken’s silence “said volumes,” the actress replied, “Just don’t look upstairs, OK?”

The couple has been the subject of much paparazzi film lately, catching them in numerous chummy positions. One can only hope that there will be a sex tape forthcoming on the Internet. But I have one important question:

With two tough women like this, who’s on top?

Popularity: 100% [?]

Anna Nicole Smith has sure had a roller coaster ride of a life.

Starting out as a struggling stripper, Anna became an international celebrity as 1993 Playboy Playmate of the Year. She then married an old stiff who was nice enough to die quickly and leave her millions of dollars. But the coot’s relatives fought the inheritance in court, and Anna lost everything.

Drowning her sorrows in food, Anna blimped up and out of show business, only later to drop 80 pounds and become the spokeswoman for TrimSpa. Anna then starred in her own reality TV show, which was ravaged by critics and died a quick death but has since become a cult favorite. This was followed by Anna’s drunk/drugged appearance on the American Movie Awards, where she immortalized the phrase, “Like my body?” Um, sure.

Fast forward to last month. Anna is in the Bahamas celebrating the birth of her second child with the two men fighting for her love (and both claiming to be the child’s father) and her 20-year-old son Daniel. Tragically, Daniel dies in her hospital room from a lethal combination of prescription drugs.

As a coda to this strange journey, Anna marries her lawyer-boyfriend before even burying her son. Her other boyfriend decides to sue to prove he’s the child’s father. And Anna’s lead attorney decided enough was enough and officially withdrew as her counsel, citing disagreements on matters of strategy and concerns about her conduct.

Popularity: 22% [?]