Follow me on Twitter The rumors are flying so fast it’s tough to keep up. First Britney Spears divorces Kevin Federline by text message, seeking custody of their kids. Reportedly Britney is protected by an iron-clad prenup she got at the insistence of her family after her 55-hour impulse marriage to Jason Alexander (her childhood friend, not George on Seinfeld).
Then K-Fed fires back with a counter-claim seeking spousal support and custody of their kids. Which makes sense because we all know what a great father he is, as he demonstrated by leaving his wife and other children (including one about to be born) for Britney in 2004.
Within days of their divorce announcement, rumors of a four-hour Britney/K-Fed sex tape emerge. Reportedly BetUS.com was negotiating with K-Fed to publish the tape, which is apparently more graphic than the infamous Paris Hilton green sex video and is projected to outsell it by far.
You may recall that in 2005 Britney sued “US Weekly” for a story it ran titled “Brit & Kev: Secret Sex Tape? New parents have a new worry: Racy footage from 2004.” Britney then denied existence of the tape and sued the magazine, ultimately losing because of course the tape is real. These are the same two narcissists who broadcast to millions of people a “Chaotic” home video of themselves burping and farting, so it’s no stretch of the imagination to believe they also have video of themselves doing the nasty.
The latest twist in this story is that Britney may simply give away the sex tape for free, just to spite her soon-to-be ex. “Brit figures she’ll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she did by giving away pictures of Jayden James,” said Spears family friend Nyla Price, 55, the owner of Nyla’s Burger Basket. “Half of nuthin’ is nuthin’, and that’s what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it.”
We believe there is a sex tape, and as soon as K-Fed realizes he won’t make a dime off it, he’ll pull the plug so the world won’t have to see his sorry a** on film. But after disappointing sex tapes from Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton, all we can say is “Baby, one more time!”
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